The Phrases shared by A Parent That Helped Me during my time as a Brand-New Parent

"In my view I was simply just surviving for a year."

One-time Made In Chelsea star Ryan Libbey anticipated to handle the challenges of becoming a dad.

Yet the truth rapidly became "completely different" to his expectations.

Life-threatening health complications surrounding the birth saw his partner Louise being hospitalised. All of a sudden he was thrust into becoming her primary caregiver as well as looking after their baby boy Leo.

"I handled each nighttime feed, every nappy change… each outing. The role of both parents," Ryan explained.

Following eleven months he reached burnout. That was when a chat with his own dad, on a public seat, that made him realise he required support.

The simple phrases "You are not in a healthy space. You must get support. What can I do to help you?" paved the way for Ryan to speak honestly, seek support and regain his footing.

His story is far from unique, but seldom highlighted. While people is now more accustomed to talking about the stress on mothers and about post-natal depression, not enough is spoken about the challenges dads go through.

Asking for help is not weak to ask for help

Ryan thinks his struggles are linked to a broader inability to communicate between men, who still absorb harmful notions of masculinity.

Men, he says, frequently believe they must be "the fortress that just gets hit and stays upright time and again."

"It is not a sign of weakness to request help. I failed to do that soon enough," he explains.

Therapist Dr Jill Domoney, a specialist focusing on mental health before and after childbirth, explains men frequently refuse to admit they're finding things difficult.

They can feel they are "not a legitimate person to be seeking help" - most notably in preference to a mum and baby - but she stresses their mental health is just as important to the unit.

Ryan's chat with his dad gave him the chance to request a break - going on a short trip abroad, away from the family home, to get a fresh outlook.

He understood he had to make a shift to focus on his and his partner's emotional states in addition to the practical tasks of looking after a newborn.

When he shared with Louise, he realised he'd missed "what she was yearning" -holding her hand and paying attention to her words.

'Parenting yourself

That insight has transformed how Ryan sees being a dad.

He's now penning Leo letters each week about his feelings as a dad, which he hopes his son will look at as he grows up.

Ryan thinks these will enable his son better understand the language of emotion and interpret his decisions as a father.

The concept of "self-parenting" is something rapper and songwriter Professor Green - also known as Stephen Manderson - has also felt keenly since having his son Slimane, who is now four.

As a child Stephen did not have consistent male a father figure. Even with having an "incredible" bond with his dad, deep-held emotional pain resulted in his father found it hard to cope and was "present intermittently" of his life, complicating their relationship.

Stephen says suppressing feelings resulted in him make "poor actions" when younger to modify how he was feeling, turning in alcohol and substances as a way out from the anguish.

"You find your way to behaviours that are harmful," he explains. "They can short-term modify how you are feeling, but they will in the end exacerbate the problem."

Strategies for Coping as a New Father

• Talk to someone - when you are under pressure, confide in a family member, your other half or a therapist what you're going through. It can help to reduce the stress and make you feel more supported.
• Remember your hobbies - make time for the pursuits that helped you to feel like you before becoming a parent. This might be playing sport, socialising or a favourite hobby.
• Look after the physical health - nutritious food, staying active and if you can, resting, all play a role in how your emotional health is faring.
• Spend time with other first-time fathers - hearing about their stories, the difficult parts, along with the positive moments, can help to validate how you're feeling.
• Remember that seeking help is not failure - taking care of yourself is the optimal method you can look after your household.

When his father later died by suicide, Stephen understandably had difficulty processing the death, having had no contact with him for a long time.

As a dad now, Stephen's committed not to "perpetuate the cycle" with his own son and instead give the security and nurturing he lacked.

When his son is about to have a meltdown, for example, they try "releasing the emotion" together - processing the emotions constructively.

Both Ryan and Stephen explain they have become more balanced, healthier men due to the fact that they acknowledged their pain, transformed how they communicate, and taught themselves to manage themselves for their children.

"I'm better… sitting with things and managing things," states Stephen.

"I put that down in a note to Leo the other week," Ryan shares. "I wrote, on occasion I think my job is to instruct and tell you what to do, but in reality, it's a two-way conversation. I am understanding just as much as you are on this path."