Nighttime Personalities Take Aim At Trump's Latest 'Gold Card' Visa Scheme

Television's leading hosts spent their airtime criticizing President Donald Trump's recently launched immigration initiative, called the "golden visa," describing it as a clear cash-for-residency arrangement for the rich.

Colbert's Pointed Analysis

Starting his show, Stephen Colbert delivered a satirical Christmas jingle targeting the president. "He's making a list, checking it twice, before giving that list to the officials at ICE," he sang. "Donald Trump ... ruins each thing he handles."

The focus was the new plan that enables international individuals to purchase U.S. residency for a sum of one million dollars, or "premium" version for five million. An official portal pledges approval "in record time."

"One thought here to wealthy foreigners: before you pony up, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He pointed out that the program is also intended to "squeeze cash" from firms wishing to hire foreign workers, involving hefty payments. "That is a lot of fees, but if you sign up, you also get free accommodation at a property of your choice – provided that it's the that one hotel," he added.

"The best vetting the government has ever done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to verify these individuals absolutely are eligible to be in America."

"That is important, you gotta prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert responded. "The initial query: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Roast

On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the visa program the "U.S. Access Express Card."

"It's a card that will let rich international individuals to live here," he explained. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get legal visitor status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one serious crime of your choosing."

"It might be time to update that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your huddled masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he added.

Kimmel mocked the lack of detail of the form, observing it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak."

"Exactly, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "That's what Jesus constantly said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Affordability Concerns

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's slipping poll numbers during financial concerns. "Voters gave Donald Trump a second term because they were mad about the economy," he noted.

Recently, in a bid to address cost of living, Trump conducted a press conference in front of a display of food items, where he reacted peculiarly to boxes of cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a ages."

"He is so extremely weird," Meyers responded. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?"

Meyers concluded by criticizing conservative media arguments of Trump's economic record. "Perhaps instead of voicing concerns, you should give him a sparkling trophy like the one FIFA did," he joked.