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The current period represents a full decade since the term “ghosting” hit the common lexicon. Back then, the notion that someone could suddenly stop all contact with a romantic interest without a word seemed like the peak of rudeness. We were so innocent. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a partner has only become more perplexing – an frequently fruitless endeavor in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by online lingo.

Generation Z, a cohort who grew up during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a coordinated attack on the freedoms of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a far messier terrain than their millennial elders could ever envision. And so their romantic glossary has grown longer and more unhinged, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” straining the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

What follows is a comprehensive breakdown to the words this generation is using to navigate romance, intimacy and the search of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most popular memes, by the end of this guide you’ll ache to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Realness – For gen Z, romance's ideal is presenting as your real, unfiltered self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A online phenomenon loosely based on a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your partner’s reply is inquisitive or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s response to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner puts herself first while oozing mystery and self-sufficiency. (She might still have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This signifies going for someone who supports you proactively. If you entered a room, they would pull up a chair for you to sit down.

Choremance – A date where two people connect while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped people in their 20s do budget-friendly dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or split, dumping all of your unreciprocated emotions.

D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a marker of 1980s young urban professional excess, it describes partners who forgo having children to focus on their own happiness. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Open communication – The opposite of acting aloof: embracing communication, honesty and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Red flags – Personal traits suggesting a prospective partner is not right. Such as calling their exes unstable, subpar tipping habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Good indicators – These quirks confirm your decision to pursue a mate. Such as checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal screen time, having a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These typically describe niche, largely benign quirks. Examples include being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still keeping a biro in their purse, paying the rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you connect with someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who loathes the same stuff or individuals that you do (nothing creates intimacy faster than having a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A musical group many young men likes.

Ghostlighting – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of disappearing.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and loyal. The rare boyfriend who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Gooners – A mostly online community of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, purposefully delaying orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An stereotype promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and happily home-oriented, who apparently has no ambitions of her own aside from satisfying her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Turn-offs – Random and usually everyday turnoffs that immediately shut down any sense of attraction.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an extremely thoughtful gesture.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal partner: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in fields they perceive as being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, educators or therapists.

K

Locking lips – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16m years. But the days of locking lips may be waning since some gen Z want fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy authentic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {